Cuff-laces empty cross . . . Crazy jogs. . . Poodle-fire . . .
Melon legs arc lamps . . . . pelvic wiggle stamp . . . grinning . . .
grape-suit pergolas . . . fairly pricks double . . .
elegant . . . frantically . . . plugs . . . Fox Major!
-- Tom Stoppard, Dogg's Hamlet
Annually, the staff of English 2080 takes time out to honor those overachievers who have put together cunningly chosen, carefully analyzed collections of Shakespeareana when they could have been enjoying the mild Ithaca climate and Cornell's convenient examination schedule. We'll get around to identifying some of these folks (but if you can't wait, look below to see the names of the finalists in the Swan of Avon Memorial Trophy competition).
First, we wish to recognize those public intellectuals, bloggers, media representatives, vendors, or just plain old predatory multinational corporations who have created startling, risible, erroneous or otherwise distinguished public uses of the Shakespeare brand and text.
Below are a few of English 2080 course members' numerous finds, selected by management for particular recognition. They range from the profoundly vulgar to the unwittingly ridiculous, in a few cases rising to a high level of humanity, good sense and good taste (see "enough snarkiness" below). Finders' names are attached to the nominations and URLs are given where possible.
Charlie the Tuna Good Taste Prize
awarded to
The Shakespeare Tissue-Box Cover
for all those lachrymose, sneezy tragedies
(found by Bert, Lauren, Yusong, Helen, and a whole committee of others)
Charlie the Tuna Yet Better Taste Award,
we turn to
"Bone Up Your Shakespeare: a Study Guide to the Complete Porno Films of the Bard of Avon"
by Daniel Radosh, at http://www.radosh.net/writing/shakespeare.html
found by Isabel
Charlie the Tuna EVEN Better Taste Award
given to the Shit-faced Shakespeare troupe
six years on the boards and never a sober moment
at http://www.shit-facedshakespeare.com/
Charlie the Tuna Tastes Good Prize
which this year goes to Denny's (the restaurant) for the
Strawberry Shake-speare
(which looks like a parfait to us, but anyway)
found by Isabel
"Bottom Translated" citation
which goes toLevi's
for their imaginative transposition of Midsummer 3.1.106-125into an urban gang-warfare-and-love milieu that has nothing to do with either the source or West Side Story, but something vaguely to do with shapely bottoms.
at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T8OvVa2Ma8&feature=related.
(found by Lucrezia)
Bottom notes
listen to the Hogwarts' (not bare, far from ruined) Choir
intoning
"Double, double toil and trouble"
at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMzrgXFeX_o
at a pace even more pokey than the average Harry Potter romance.
(Found by Emma, Sierra, Yusong)
But if you have no time
for school hymns or ponderous, inexplicit midnight romance, try• Nextel's lickety-split Romeo and Juliet, done chiefly on cells,
(at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-cZtWefN8s, (found by HElen) or
• That bizarre Wagnerian cartoon
Tales for the L33T":
i.e. Romeo and Juliet, done against odd Alfred-Hitchcock-hour titles by Christ Coutts, targeting Baz Luhrmann. (Found by Gina)
"LOVE STORY"
to be the quintessence of Romeo-and-Juliet, Jane-Austen-costumed romance.
"An atrociously written song," enthused one finder, celebrating it as "incidentally, a feminist's nightmare."
Found by Eme, Katie, and Becky T.
at "Jughead in "Shakespeare, Anyone?"
"Othello 'Tis My Shite,"
where the comedians Key and Peele, horrified by the ending of Othello
force Shakespeare to write a blaxploitation drama, Shafte .
(found by Bert, Kathleen)
Where does it end? Maybe right here, with
Remember what we said about humanity, good sense, and good taste? That's what Professor Bruce Levitt, other Cornell people, and the Phoenix Players Theatre Group cultivated with their
Maximum Will Sizzle Reel,
highlights from a 2012 production at Auburn Correctional facility.
at http://phoenixplayersatauburn.com/maximum-will-sizzle-reel/
(found by Mark D.)
